Memoir Monday- Old Notebook Inspriation

4:48 PM Posted In Edit This 3 Comments »
I fear change and the unknown in my life. I always have. Even if I was so prepared for the change, I still was scared to make it a reality. I don't handle change well. I create a lot of stress for myself related to the change. I think about it constantly, I cry, my neck and back tense up, I give myself headaches.
I remember the summer before I started University. I cried everyday. I created these terrible situations that I would play over in my head. I was afraid I was not going to do well in University. I was afraid I was not going to make any friends. Coming from a school of 500 people to a single class with 400 people in it was out of my comfort zone. Butterflies in my stomach were present on my first day, but I made it through. I made some great friends in my four years, I graduated with distinction, I became a teacher. While the ride wasn't perfect it was not as horrible as I thought it would be. You would have thought that I would start to believe in the good of change and a new opportunity, but the start of my internship the fear came back.
Internship was the make it or break it point in my road to becoming a teacher. It was the first time I had lived away from home and I was afraid to leave my security blanket of Aberdeen and my family and friends. I did not feel confident enough in myself as a teacher. But again I was proven wrong. I was welcomed with open arms into my new town and school and I found my place as a teacher very quickly and I impressed many people around me. Internship was a success.
Now I am done school with a degree on my wall. My fear of not finding a job for the fall has come true as school starts this week. I spent my summer stressing about it, and that didn't get me anywhere. I am on a couple sub lists and I should be getting phone calls sooner then later to start subbing. Justin tells me "Let time take its course- everything will work out in the end". I look back on all the changes and opportunities that I was afraid of and I see that things do really work out in the end. Sometimes they even work out better. I am trying to change myself and see that change is a good thing, change brings challenges that make you a better person.

Widom Teeth

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About 3 weeks ago I was having some extreme pain with my wisdom teeth. I went to the dentist and she said that I needed to have my wisdom teeth removed because 1) my mouth was too small for them to come in and 2) my bottom ones were coming in sideways. So she sent my x-rays off to the oral surgeon and I waited to hear from them. A few days later they called to make an appointment. The earliest they could get me in was June 2009. I took the appointment and asked if I could be put on a list that if anyone cancelled I could get in on short notice because I could not wait till June.

On Monday I got a phone call from the oral surgeon that there were two cancellations during the week and they were wondering if I was available to come in. It was now or June. The options were Wednesday at 2pm and Friday at 9am. I picked Friday because I didn't want to wait all day and it would just be over with as early as possible.

I was very nervous about it, I wanted to be sedated because I could not be awake while it was going on. I was not allowed to eat or drink for 8 hours before the surgery, so Thursday night I had supper and that was it until after my teeth were gone..

I got up early on Friday morning, showered, read the paper, and avoided the kitchen at all costs. I wanted some of my mom's banana bread so bad. My mom showed up just after 8 and we went downtown. Downtown at 8am is the best, very little traffic and lots of parking spots. We quickly found a spot and went up the elevator to the 6th floor. I walked into the office and went up to the receptionist to let her know I was here. She looked at me and said "Your appointment isn't until 2 pm today"

I shook my head saying "No, my appointment is at 9. I got a call on Monday saying there were two options Wednesday at 2 and Friday at 9"

"Well I'm sorry for the confusion. Can you come back today at 2?"

"I guess so" I replied.

My mom and I got back into the elevator and I was pissed off that my appointment was messed up because I was now very hungry and angry. I was all ready to have the surgery and now I was going to have to wait. 2 o'clock was so very far away. My mom and I did some shopping then went back to my place to make some soup and Jello. We spent the afternoon knitting and watching the Olympics.

Now we were back to Oral Surgeons office. I was okay until I got into room to watch the movie. My heart beat was going faster and faster, I was becoming very nervous. After the movie the nurse came in to put in my IV. This was the first time I had ever had an IV. I HATE needles, so I looked away took a deep breath and it wasn't that bad. I sat there were a while waiting for the doctor. He finally came in said a few things to me and gave me some drugs that knocked me right out.

I was out of it for a bit, I don't really remember going to the car or getting home. I had gauze in my mouth that was soaked with blood. We changed the gauze and I had to wait till it stopped bleeding so I could eat my soup. It was barley warm and it was gross but Justin said I wasn't allowed to have it any hotter. It was difficult to eat anything because my lip was still frozen and the soup and ice cream dripped down my chin. I should have enjoyed my frozen state because after the freezing went away the pain took over. I was starting to wonder why I had gotten my teeth out at all. My face was square and fat and my diet has been nothing but soup, jello, ice cream and yogurt. The pain killers are great but I wake up in the middle of the night in pain. I have the best fiance though who goes and gets me my pills and ice packs and whatever else I need.

Its Sunday now. I'm still eating soup, my face is still puffy and I am in a lot of pain. I just want to feel better. I don't think we will be going on our vacation anymore this week....I'm off to take more pain killers and get a new ice pack.

Car Shopping

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My 93 Cavalier still runs, is pretty good on gas, and still looks half decent if you look past the rust but that car has now become a commuter car for Justin out to the mine instead of his pathfinder which is nice for hauling stuff and fitting three hockey bags in it but not so good on gas. And in about a month or so I'll be driving all over the place for subbing and I need a good commuter car. We have been car shopping all summer, disagreeing on the style of car we both like. I fell in love with the 5 door cars like the caliber and the matrix but Justin was not a fan. I really liked the controls on the steering wheel in the caliber and the cooler in the glove box!!!! But they are cheep and overpopulating our city FAST!! We had a list of possible cars: Jetta, Malibu, Accura all of which would be great cars but we both were not in love with them.
My job for the summer is driving cars and lately I got behind the wheel of a Hyundai Elantra and really loved it. It had heated seats (sweet), volume and station controls on the steering wheel! (AWESOME), lots of storage compartments (YES) and just drove good.


So after the last time we went to a dealership to test drive a car, I really didn't want to go back. The salesman was rude, pushy and well RUDE! I wanted the leave as soon as we sat down with him. But this time was great, Glenn was the best cars salesman I have ever met. Just answered our questions straight up, was not pushy or rude, he was actually funny. So we took the Elantra for a spin and Justin really liked it too.

"Lots of power for a little car" he said smiling as he punched it on the highway.

We sat down with Glen when we got back and told him what we were looking for in one if it came in to give us a call. So hopefully in the next month we will be driving a new car!!


Mini-Golfing in the rain

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The lightening had started, but the rain was not falling yet as we set off to mini golf. Ryan said it wasn't going to rain on us, and I naively believed him.

We barley got finished the first hole before the rain started coming down. Just lightly at first, but by the 9th hole it was coming down pretty hard.

My perfect straight hair became an unruly mess and my jeans and shirt were soaked. It was fun though and I came in third. Ryan insisted that the rain affected his game too much. Ryan came in last!! But it's not about winning, but how you play the game!! :)

After we went to Wendy's and got Twisted Frosters which I highly recommend!! SO YUMMY!!

Here are some photos of our Rain Golf game---






Update

8:38 PM Posted In , , Edit This 1 Comment »
My vein of gold journey has started off slow...morning pages were not completed this week at all, my body just did not want to wake up!


I did a couple Daily Walks which was fabulous, I am starting to love this city more.

I also completed my artist date at my favorite coffee shop. It's nice to just get out of the house with my notebook and enjoy a good carmal steamer and peice of pie!


I got a lot accomplished on my Narrative Timeline notes and this weekend I want to start writing out my narriative time line. I had a lot of trouble with my younger years so hopefully stuff coms to me as I write.



Wreck this jounral


Here are some pics of a few pages I have WRECKED!




Wedding Planning has started up again. I did an inventory of decorations today and counted 207 snowflakes! The hall will look like it is snowing inside! I hope anyways. We have a meeting with the minister next friday to discuss details for the service and officially set a time. I want to get started on making invitations ASAP!

We also have engagment pictures that night! I'm very excited!!



I got my wedding shoes---2 pairs! One dress pair and one pair of fuzzy boots to wear outside in the snow for pics!




I hope this is a productive weekend!!